Mama said there'd be days like this

Actually, she didn't, but I wish she had.  One of my friends uses song titles as the titles for all her blog posts.  I think that is a great idea, I stole it from her today (not the title, but the idea).

Today is a crappy day.  There is just no other way to say it.  C.R.A.P.P.Y.  And it's only 9:00.  Yesterday I played with the idea of taking a vacation day today.  God put that reason in my head for a reason.  He knew I would think it was a crappy day.  But me, being the person I am, decided I shouldn't waste it. 

Go ahead, you know you want to say it.  Here, I'll say it with you.  

IDIOT.

Sometimes I wonder if what I have done is so bad.  Most days I know it is, but all days I know that regardless what I have done, He is not punishing me.  Even if I think it feels that way. 

I'm not trying to illicit pity.  But if you want to shower me with gifts, chocolates, and flowers, who am I to stop you.  No, really, I won't stop you.  Honestly. 

But there are some days I just want to feel like a normal person.  And the things I want are normal.  I want to be a mom.  I want to pick up my own screaming child and console them.  I want to be the one that they want when they are sick.  I want to be a better wife.  The one my husband deserves.  I want to have a smaller butt. 

I think it is hard for people to truly empathize with the issues of others.  As much as we try, we cannot.

And believe it or not, I am truly happy for my friends that have the things I want.  I don't look at them and harbor jealous thoughts.  But today, I just want to be happy for me.  And I'm not there yet, but I'm hoping.