Monday, March 8, 2010

Bittersweet memories

I have a wonderful sister in law (Brad's sister).  I don't talk about her much on here because I am selfish.  But today is her birthday (yes, only 4 days after Brad's), yesterday was her daughter's birthday and today is one of her son's birthdays.  I guess at the point when you start having kids it is ok to have birthdays close to or the same as your children.  At least that way you are guaranteed cake and presents, even if they aren't for you.

I used to think my sister in law didn't like me.  I was very nervous around her, which could be why I broke a piece of her stemware.  She just seems so...perfect.  She is raising 4 extremely well behaved boys.  She homeschools them.  She cooks dinner (I can't even do this and there is only two of us).  She finds time to do things I can only dream about.  And she is so stinking smart. 

You may notice that I mentioned her daughter's birthday and that she was raising 4 boys.  Her daughter would have been 14 now, if the tumor had not taken her too early.  She would be texting her friends, reading so many books, brushing her long dark hair.  She would be having crushes, singing along to songs on the radio.  She would be fighting with her brothers, and probably her parents.  She would be reading about God, instead of being in Heaven.  She would be talking about what she wants to be when she grows up.  She would be beautiful. 

Caroline was a stronger Christian at three than I am at 33.  Her love was so pure you couldn't mistake it.  And her smile and giggle so contagious I catch myself smiling now, just thinking of her.  Even if she isn't here, she still brings joy. 

My heart goes out to her parents and brothers right now.  None of her brothers got to meet her, but they all know her.  While the memories of Caroline are too few, they are strong enough to last a lifetime. 

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