Monday, August 1, 2011

Driver Education

Last week was apparently slow-ass driver week.  Next time I wonder if they could couple this with hang-out-in-the-left-hand-lane-club.  Then I could consolidate my fury into one week.

I thought I would compile a list of driving habits that are guaranteed to make even the most sane, insane.

1.  Slow-ass drivers.
2.  People who hang out in the left lane.  There are subgroups to this one:

Subgroup A:  People who drive fast in this lane and come up on your tail so quickly that you have to look for flashing lights to make sure they aren't pulling you over.  If you are in that much of a hurry maybe you should have left sooner or put your hazards on.

Subgroup B:  People who drive the exact speed limit in the left hand lane.  Also known as people who can't read the sign that says slower traffic keep right.  Or are blind because they can't see the LONG ASS LINE of cars behind them.

Subgroup C:  People who drive 5 miles over the speed limit.  See SubGroup B.

Subgroup D:  People who drive in this lane even if there is no traffic around at all.  My husband does this.  Drives me crazy.  Makes me love him more.

3.  People who don't use their turn signals.  They are there for a reason, use them.
4.  People who match your speed when you are trying to pass them.  Oh, hell no.
5.  People who ride their brakes. 
6.  People who stop at stoplights 20 feet from the white line thing. 
7.  People who have a bunch of crap in their cars.  I know this doesn't really have to do with driving, but it has to be a distraction.  You know, those people who don't have a back seat because of too much stuff.
8.  People who let their dogs ride in their laps. 
9.  People who can't park and take up two spots due to their parking inability.  I can understand if you  have a nice car.  I can empathize.  But taking up two spots simply because you can't park is downright wrong.
10.  People who don't move over to let you merge onto the highway.

I'm sure there is more but I can't think of them right now.  I'm off to go get in my car and be the best driver.  EVER!

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