Dear Hair

Dear Hair,

I know we have a love/hate relationship.  I know you refuse to be straight and untangly.  I've accepted that and decided to love you anyway.  I know we hit the mother load while I was pregnant.  Soft, full and generally fuss free.  And then you decided bald might be a good look after pregnancy.  I was honestly quite worried about the number of times you clogged my drain (and if my husband still liked me after he had to clean said drain).  I also happen to know you are rather enjoying this little stage of uncertainty we have here.  To be wavy or curly?  To be curly or kinky?  To be dreds or not?  Personally, I would just prefer you pick one.  Preferably wavy.  Preferably not dreds. 

While I understand you have your own agenda I have a favor to ask.  Please stop being nice to me only when I'm getting ready to get you cut.  As in, "I will cut you!".  But not because I want to hurt you, only because you need it.  Do you KNOW I am making an appointment today?  Do you KNOW I've decided to not cut you short? 

Please stop being nice to me.  It's freaking me out.

Me