Isn't it Ironic

I think timing is everything.  You learn exactly what time you have to leave the house in the morning to miss traffic, yet get there somewhat on time.  You learn exactly what time you can leave your house and make it Donut World before closing, or to be the first in line.  You're also given little pleasures in life just when you need them.  That phone call from a friend, a letter in the mail, donuts for breakfast.

I also think everything happens for a reason.  I used to think I was the least selfish person I knew because, well, I thought I was that perfect.  Then you have a kid and learn what selfishlessness (is that even a word) means.  I am actually not proud of that one (because I judged everyone who I thought was selfish as being so freakin inferior to me, Ms. Perfectness).  I also though I was a pretty laid back person.  Ex-boyfriends, my husband, and pretty much anyone who knows me is laughing right now and running away so lightening doesn't strike. 

Lately I've been reflecting on the past year of being a mom and wanted to get part of my life back.  I've been reading books like nobody's business.  I used to read all the time, then I was just too tired.  It's odd how I've missed something like that.  I'm trying to get out of the house more.  I'm ok if I'm not there to put little boy to sleep.  OK, that is a stretch, but I no longer freak out about it.

Then it hit me.  Like a 2x4.  Oh my goodness, listen to me, I'm planning all this stuff without my kid.  It's like I can't wait for him to go to bed every night so I can have some "me" time.  I'm so selfish.  What kind of parent does that make me?  The answer:  a good one.

No, I don't condone going out every night in lieu of spending time with your child.  But, I also think you need your "you" time, whatever that is so you can be sane.  And sanity don't hurt when it comes to parenting.  Or so I've heard.

There is something in the water at work because we have an extreme influx of new babies.  Since I have been a mom for a whole year I am clearly an expert and am not afraid to tell them exactly how it is.  Since I know everything and all.  I was talking to one of the guys who will soon be a daddy yesterday.  I told him how I was completely ok with giving up my social life for the first year of little boy's life.  But now, I need to be normal again.  And as a parent, you think that is horrible parenting.  When in reality, it's just the way it is.  And there is honestly nothing wrong with looking forward to bedtime.

About 10 minutes after that conversation, I saw this post.  And it pretty much sums it up.  It also validates me, which is awesome.

Here is is in case the link doesn't work.
http://www.ncregister.com/blog/simcha-fisher/to-the-mother-with-only-one-child/

Another First

Dear Little Boy,

You are 13 months old today.  Sometimes I look at you and think how small you are.  Other times I'm astounded by how big you are!  You are constantly on the go!  You started walking pretty much the day after your first birthday.  Now nothing is safe.  :)  You are such a joy.  Even at 2:00 AM last night.

You had your first-ever fever last night.  First that I know of, anyway.  I knew something was wrong when you didn't want to eat.  It's one of your favorite things to do!  And then you just wanted to be held.  Sign #2. 

I had to be at work early today so I came home before you woke up so I could be there with you.  You're all better now, probably a little hungry.  You are just teething so it's nothing to worry about.  But I couldn't help but feel like you were my little teeny baby again.  Just in a toddler body.  So I just wanted to say, Thank you for making me a mommy.

I love you,
Mom

Alarm Clock, Take II

No one realizes this, but HR people have crazy hours.  Well, some HR people do.  I do, and since this is my blog, I'm what matters.

So there as I was last night.  Setting my alarm so I could wake up at 3:00 AM.  Usually this is followed by a..."I wonder if I should just stay up.  I've got tons of stuff I can do."  Which is then almost immediately followed by a, "uh, heck no."  Or something much less PG rated. 

I decided to look for a different ring tone, because of this.  I went through my list of eligible choices, remembering why I chose the original one.  The others just plain suck. 

As I was speeding into work today because I just couldn't get out of bed at the aforementioned 3 AM because, well, you should be going to bed at 3AM not waking up, I realized the perfect alarm clock noise is out there. 

Have you ever noticed that a crying baby will wake your butt up from a dead sleep in no time at all?  Whereas the alarm clock fades into consciousness after about 10 minutes of going off incessantly.  Little boy can whimper in his sleep and I'm full on awake. 

Then I realized that if your alarm clock was a baby crying you would continually rush into the baby's room, in turn waking them up.  It would start a never ending issue of crying baby, run to baby's room, crap - wrong baby, crap - baby awake now, put back to sleep, good - now I can go back to sleep, oh - there is that baby crying again, crap - wrong baby, good - more sleep, crap - baby is crying again, crap - wrong  baby, crap - I'm late for work again.

You can't bottle this kind of genius.