I think timing is everything. You learn exactly what time you have to leave the house in the morning to miss traffic, yet get there somewhat on time. You learn exactly what time you can leave your house and make it Donut World before closing, or to be the first in line. You're also given little pleasures in life just when you need them. That phone call from a friend, a letter in the mail, donuts for breakfast.
I also think everything happens for a reason. I used to think I was the least selfish person I knew because, well, I thought I was that perfect. Then you have a kid and learn what selfishlessness (is that even a word) means. I am actually not proud of that one (because I judged everyone who I thought was selfish as being so freakin inferior to me, Ms. Perfectness). I also though I was a pretty laid back person. Ex-boyfriends, my husband, and pretty much anyone who knows me is laughing right now and running away so lightening doesn't strike.
Lately I've been reflecting on the past year of being a mom and wanted to get part of my life back. I've been reading books like nobody's business. I used to read all the time, then I was just too tired. It's odd how I've missed something like that. I'm trying to get out of the house more. I'm ok if I'm not there to put little boy to sleep. OK, that is a stretch, but I no longer freak out about it.
Then it hit me. Like a 2x4. Oh my goodness, listen to me, I'm planning all this stuff without my kid. It's like I can't wait for him to go to bed every night so I can have some "me" time. I'm so selfish. What kind of parent does that make me? The answer: a good one.
No, I don't condone going out every night in lieu of spending time with your child. But, I also think you need your "you" time, whatever that is so you can be sane. And sanity don't hurt when it comes to parenting. Or so I've heard.
There is something in the water at work because we have an extreme influx of new babies. Since I have been a mom for a whole year I am clearly an expert and am not afraid to tell them exactly how it is. Since I know everything and all. I was talking to one of the guys who will soon be a daddy yesterday. I told him how I was completely ok with giving up my social life for the first year of little boy's life. But now, I need to be normal again. And as a parent, you think that is horrible parenting. When in reality, it's just the way it is. And there is honestly nothing wrong with looking forward to bedtime.
About 10 minutes after that conversation, I saw this post. And it pretty much sums it up. It also validates me, which is awesome.
Here is is in case the link doesn't work.