It's getting closer. I can tell. And it really scares me. I'm having lots of contractions (always hurt at night...thanks a ton). Pressure in all the right (or wrong) places, babies head in position. Now all I have to do is wait. And anyone that knows me knows I don't do that well.
I would of course be due around a major holiday, so the doula we've hired is going out of town. We have a back up, but it isn't the same. The back up won't pray with us, we don't have the same connection, etc. So I hope to either go before she leaves, which would essentially be this weekend, or after she returns, which doesn't sound much better.
We've also decided to do a water birth. Women's hospital will allow them now and my midwives are on board. Let's hope baby is.
My house is a wreck, my china cabinet still isn't unpacked and work is crazy. Part of me knows none of that matters, but I hate that it is in the back of my head.
And I'm scared to death about PPD. Can I handle the stress of a newborn? Can I be a good enough mom? Will I ever measure up? You know, just everyday questions...