I've been reading blogs this morning, trying to avoid writing on my own. A good friend of mine recently told me I was the best avoider she knew. That is probably true. I'm not a "it's about me" kinda person. I am the middle child and I think that suited me well. I tended to blend in. I never made problems. I am the peacemaker in my family. Not so much in my marriage, however. :)
I realized I've never spoken about my family on here. Or not in much detail. I had an interesting childhood in some ways. Some ways were completely normal. School was completely normal. Home was not. Don't get me wrong, I still had a good childhood, thanks in large part (heck, thanks completely) to my mother. I'm not going to get into my childhood. That is a conversation best left with therapists and husbands. An interesting side note though: I was talking to my therapist during a visit and brought up something. He was completely shocked because I had never mentioned it before, even after more than a year of visits. Like I said, I'm an avoider.
As I mentioned, I'm a middle child. My brother is about 18 months older. Which was really quite great when we were young. I spoke really late as a child because my brother spoke for me. He would kiss me goodbye when he left for kindergarten. He let me play with his GI Joe's. Then we got older and I was taller than him for a little bit. Then I dated his friends. Neither is good sister behavior.
My brother grew up without a father figure for the majority of his life. Which is why I am so incredibly proud of him. He is such a good dad to his girls. Poor guy, grew up with three women in the house, still has three women in the house. We were typical brother and sister. Fought incessantly. Fought for the front seat, fought for the back seat. Whichever the other had, we wanted. When I would ask him to pass me the rolls at dinner he would lick one before giving it to me. I used to be upset because I never felt like he would have protected me. You think of big brothers as the protectors. Now I realize that #1, I wouldn't have let him, #2, he was just trying to survive himself. He had to become the man of the house as a preteen. He had a lot of pressure on him all the time. And a lot of the time he acted out in ways which I didn't approve. But he was doing the best he could. Sadly, I've only realized this lately. And I haven't told him how proud of him I am.
Tomorrow is Father's Day. And even though he isn't my father, most days he is the closest thing I had. I think it is a good day to tell him.
As a side note, when he cuts his hair he is Dale Earnhardt, Jr's doppleganger.