Monday, May 4, 2009

What is my purpose

First of all, yes, I realize I am late to the blogging scene. It fits...I'm late to everything. I hate it too. I underestimate how long it will take me to get places, probably because I assume everyone else will drive as well as I think I do. I decided to start blogging because, well, I have time now. I was recently laid off and am thoroughly enjoying it! But it has started me thinking...what is my purpose?

I grew up with a mom who didn't work until I was in my teens. And then, due to divorce, she had to work two jobs. I always wanted to work so I could be as independent as possible. I would never rely on anyone! Then college comes and you meet the man of your dreams. :) I still wanted to work, but mostly because I didn't know what else I would do. I have a friend who got married and had children pretty soon after marriage. She didn't work. I completely scoffed at her..."why do you want to go to school for 4 years, only to do nothing with it???". Now, I'm thinking she had it right.

Here's the problem. I have absolutely no reason to stay home. Sure, its nice to be able to clean the house and make dinner and do all the things wives are supposed to do. But is that my only identity? Is that my only purpose? Surely it can't be. The Lord surely wouldn't put this desire in me for nothing, right?

So I'm stuck. I want to work to be useful. I want to help out the finances (actually, I think I have to work right now), I want to do more than laundry and yard work. But at the same time, I don't. I'm trying to pray about it. I'm trying to let the Lord lead both of which I am horrible. Hence, the blog begins. I have long wanted to know how I fit into this world. I have no discernible talent, I do not have children...the list could go on, but I'm afraid it would sound a bit like a pity party. Hopefully this blog will allow me to figure things out, or at least be ok with the things I have no control over. Hopefully you won't be too bored!

No comments:

Post a Comment