I've been waiting for awhile to write this blog. Three years to be exact. As you know, I've prayed a long time about becoming a mother. I've wanted it so badly it was almost blinding. And for three years I had unanswered prayers. I can see now there was a reason. God really does know what he is doing. It's hard for me to admit I am wrong...even in this case.
Looking back, now I can see I wasn't ready. Sure, I was 30, 31, 32. How can I not be ready to be a mom? There are reasons, and God knew those. Part of it was that I was never really ready to relinquish control. Surely if I just try this one thing, it will work. Well, not always.
I was reading back over my blogs a few weeks ago and came across one I wrote in March of this year. In it I wrote about submitting to God my feelings, my stress, my hurts, my restlessness. The timing is interesting. Because about 2 weeks later, I found out I was expecting. :)
To any of you who I haven't told personally, I'm truly sorry! But I just couldn't keep it in anymore! Sorry for the bad quality of the picture, I couldn't get my scanner to work.