Friday, September 25, 2009

Women...Can't live with them, but they rule.

I have a feeling that most women struggle with the same things; body image issues, what we wear, finding time to do everything, etc, etc. And then there is me. While I struggle with those, I also struggle with things like using correct punctuation. I swear there must have been a cute boy in class that day taking my attention off the teacher. Otherwise I would be a grammar and punctuation queen. As it is, you'll have to settle for overall queen. Hey, we can't be good at everything.

My biggest struggle is messing stuff up. I am always afraid that I have done something wrong, made someone mad, or just plain screwed up. If Murphy had a sister, she would be named Jessica, have curly hair, and be inept at punctuation.

The thing is, I don't mess stuff up as much as I think I do. I am overly cautious. I walk around corners thinking I will bump into the wall (which happens more than I like to admit). Corners hurt! But I think my fear of messing up prevents me from doing stuff. I'm always afraid I will be told I'm doing it wrong or I should have done it a different way. I'm afraid of not being good enough.

I constantly think my friends are mad at me and that I am left out either because I have done something wrong or I am not important enough to be included. This has also led to my freakishly annoying habit of trying to figure out what is going on with everyone. I hate to not be included. But I'm independent as crap! What is that about???

While women have these issues, I have also seen us be stronger than I ever thought possible. I've seen a woman survive mental and physical abuse, and go on to support her family on a salary that shouldn't have been able to feed one person. I've seen a woman in a wheelchair take care of her family as if there were no disability, meanwhile never complaining. I've seen a woman keep her family together when all it should have done is fall apart. I've seen a woman fight cancer and win.

This is not to say that men are not strong. They are stronger than we give them credit for. They are often our strength. But ask any man that has seen the miracle of life and you will see a man that thinks his wife is stronger than anyone else.

I'm not typically a Woman's Lib kinda girl. I like the man to be head of the household. I like to have door's opened for me, to be complimented, and get dressed up. I like to be pampered. I like to get flowers. Brad...these are hints.

But maybe my fear is that I will never measure up to these women. That I will never have their perseverance. I'm not sure I deserve to. But I hope I have the chance to be a woman who stands up for what she believes in, who fights for her children and her marriage, who listens to God speak, and can be called day.

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